In the Beginning Was Fear

An essay by Daniele Bolelli

In the beginning was fear—the fear that everything that has a body experiences once it realizes we live in a predatory universe; a universe in which absolutely everything gets to be eaten… if not by the sharp fangs of a predator, then by time itself. And Fear became our God. And it began to rule over our lives, shrink our willingness to dare, and rob us of the beauty of it all.

In the Beginning Was FearFear is written in the deepest layer of our DNA. You can’t run away from it. You can’t escape it. It’s so pervasive that plenty of people try to exorcise the demon. Religions, philosophies, advertisements, motivational speakers… They all tell you if you make the jump and follow their cure, you’ll no longer have anything to fear. They tell you that there are no monsters hiding under your bed. They promise you safety from everything you fear. They promise you a sense of empowerment. They promise you victory against all odds.

The reality is that they are trying to sell you something.

The monster is indeed under your bed, after all. The reality is that you have every good reason to be afraid, because everything you fear is on your tracks right now, and will eventually catch up to you and destroy everything you loved and everything you are.

Welcome to the world, motherfuckers.

So, why “not afraid?” Wouldn’t it be more appropriate?

“Scared shitless and rightfully so?”

Because being scared doesn’t help you. Reality is uglier and harsher than anything we like to admit to ourselves, and yet it’s pointless to be scared since your fear will not protect you. Fear is only useful if it alerts you of a danger you can avoid, but if there’s no possible way to avoid it, if it’s inevitable that it’ll crush you no matter how hard you fight, then what’s the point of being afraid? If you have no hope of survival, what’s left to be afraid of?

The only thing you’ll succeed in doing is in spoiling this very second when the forces that will destroy you haven’t stepped onto the stage yet.

Yes, you will not get out of here alive. But so what? All the more reason to celebrate right here and right now. Let’s pop the champagne before all hell breaks loose. Squeeze every last ounce of orgasmic ecstasy from the present moment. And when the monster finally climbs out from under your bed, at least you’ll have a good reason to smile before he devours you. You are already dead. Let’s have a party in the meantime.


Daniele Bolelli is a writer and college professor. He has also fought professionally in mixed martial arts and appeared in I Am Bruce Lee (2012). He is a frequent guest on The Joe Rogan Experience, The Adam Carolla Show, and The Duncan Trussell Family Hour. His own podcast The Drunken Taoist is regularly rated among the most downloaded worldwide in the “philosophy” category of iTunes.

Daniele’s Books

Daniele Bolelli's Books

Not Afraid | Create Your Own Religion

Our December Titles Are Here!

The last month of 2015 – where did this year go?! It seems like just yesterday we were entering a new year! We hope you enjoy your December! Happy Holidays!

Without further ado, our December titles.


Not Afraid – Daniele Bolelli

“The honest and auntenticity in Daniele’s writing is truly inspirational.”- AJ Hawk, 2011 Super Bowl Champion with the Green Bay Packers

“Not Afraid is an adventure story of the truest, deepest sort. You’ve never read a story like this or known a man like this. I recommend both without hesitation.”- Chris Ryan, the New York Times bestselling author of Sex at Dawn

9781938875137This book is a meditation on facing fear, heartbreak, and mortality. In his own irreverent and inimitable style, Daniele Bolelli tells the story of his courtship and marriage, which would have been a sweet story had not all hell broken loose. Or as he puts it, “Hell was a ninja who entered my house without being seen. It all began in such an unremarkable way that it barely registered as anything meaningful. Little did I know that the experiences of the next five months would rip me apart and kill me. They would re-forge me into a different man. On that day, I became an unwilling traveler on a journey through the heart of fear. Every step along the way has forced me to face my fears time and time again.”

It is the story of a man who in rapid succession has his wife die in his arms, loses his house and his job, and is left to care for his 19-month old daughter. Oddly enough, the best tools for coping with all of this were those he learned in more than two decades of martial arts practice. Not Afraid tackles this extremely heavy subject matter in a light-hearted style and with an attitude that acknowledges pain and suffering but denies them dominion over one’s life.

(Disinformation Books)


You Don’t Have to Die to Go to Heaven – Susan Allison, PhD

“An increasing body of evidence suggests that the survival of consciousness following bodily death is real, and that it is possible to have a preview of what lies ahead. In You Don’t Have to Die to Go to Heaven, Susan Allison shows how.” —Larry Dossey, MD, author of One Mind: How Our Individual Mind Is Part of a Greater Consciousness and Why It Matters

9781578635887What if we really didn’t have to die to go to heaven? What if we could prove to ourselves through direct experience that spirit worlds exist, that there is no death, that we all are immortal, and that our departed loved ones are fine? We can and they are.

Dr. Susan Allison shows us how in this breakthrough book. She teaches how to go into shamanic trance and spirit travel to other realms to meet animal helpers, spirit allies, and gurus, divine teachers and loved ones. Using the information in this book, you’ll meet and connect or reconnect with your soul tribe. We can overcome our fear of death and feel comfort in knowing where our departed loved ones have gone. No one needs to wait to have a near-death experience before visiting a level of heaven; everyone can go now, meet with spirit allies, guides, and teachers and transform their lives.

(Weiser Books)


The Book of Practical Candle Magic – Leo Vinci

9781578635788Candle magic is a simple but effective magical technique, involving a minimum of equipment and experience. In this complete manual are instructions for making, dressing, and anointing candles and for using them in a variety of rituals—attraction, banishment, peace and contemplation, and the Mystical Novena.

The Book of Practical Candle Magic, written by an experienced occultist, offers expert guidance on a fascinating aspect of magical theory and includes a historical survey of the candle in religion and folklore as well as essential information on color symbolism, angelic signatures, planetary signs, and zodiacal correspondences.

(Weiser Books)