Giving the Gift of Your True Self

by Debra Landwehr Engle

Years ago, one of my college roommates came to visit. We sat on my back porch to catch up on our lives, and she told me she’d been seeing a therapist about some early childhood issues.

One of the things her therapist told her created a miracle in her mind—a change in perception and a natural occurrence of love.

The therapist’s words were:

“You are a precious jewel. Treat yourself that way, and teach others to treat you that way, too.”

A precious jewel. This was stunning to both of us, since we’d both been divorced and were questioning how lovable we really were. The word “precious” would never have entered our minds. But now, here we were, presented with the radical idea that we had value and were worthy of being treasured.

giving-the-gift-of-your-true-self

When I think back, I realize how easy it is to forget that truth, especially if we’re used to questioning our own worth.

But it IS truth for all of us. No matter what we think of ourselves or what we’ve been through, we are all precious jewels. Children of God. Sparks of the Divine. Worthy of giving and receiving love without question.

Our entire lives depend on remembering this one simple truth. Remembering means living with joy, confidence, generosity and forgiveness.

Forgetting means living with anxiety, fear, scarcity and guilt.

So how can we remember?

Fortunately, there are many ways to support the precious jewel within.

For one woman I know, it means eliminating all negative self-talk. She works in a male-oriented industry and realized that, if she wanted to be free of female bashing from her co-workers, she had to start with her own thoughts about herself.

For another, it means practicing all the basics of good self-care, such as getting enough sleep, doing yoga and eating foods that are vibrant and alive. She also listens to her own intuition about the trajectory of her life rather than letting herself buy into other people’s expectations.

For me, it means periodically unplugging from beliefs that don’t serve me. I do this by asking for my fear-based thoughts to be healed, and by sitting down each morning to listen to my spirit guides.

But I also do a visualization that might be helpful for you, too. Here’s how it goes:

Picture yourself in front of an old-fashioned switchboard—the kind where you’re wearing a headset, manually unplugging and plugging in lines to connect phone calls.

Now imagine that the switchboard has dozens of beliefs that no longer serve you.

For instance, “At my age, I’m going to start having health problems.”

“No matter how hard I work, we never have enough.”

“Life is hard, and I’d better prepare for the worst.”

“Our family never gets along. The holidays are going to be a pain again this year.”

Now see yourself unplugging from those beliefs, literally pulling out the cords. Express thanks for the ways these beliefs have contributed to who you are today, but respectfully let go.

As you do this, know that you are effectively unplugging from your fear-based thoughts. You may feel an energetic shift when you disconnect.

Now see another switchboard with beliefs that you want to plug into and do the process in reverse.

“I don’t live my life like anyone else. I live it like me.”

“My physical body is vital and healthy.”

“I experience the abundant flow of the universe in all areas of my life.”

“I am a precious jewel, and I see the treasure in everyone I meet.”

When you’re finished, write down the beliefs you’ve adopted so you can affirm them every day. Then thank your guides and Spirit for supporting you.

The key is to do this and other spiritual practices daily so you continue to remember the truth, because your life literally depends on it.

Remember that the precious jewel you are is the best gift you can give yourself and the world this holiday season.

So be self-loving. Be merry. And most of all, be light.

Happy holidays!


Debra Engle is the author of The Only Little Prayer You Need and Let Your Spirit Guides Speak. You can find her on Facebook and at debraengle.com and at her Patheos.com blog “Everyday Miracles.”

Deb Engle's Books

Three Reasons to Talk to Your Spirit Guides Daily

by Debra Landwehr Engle

We often turn to spiritual guidance when we’re in crisis. A loved one is ill, we’re worried about money, or a string of life challenges leaves us stressed about the future. When we’re desperate enough, we ask for help.

But what if you asked every day? What if, in fact, you conversed with your spirit guides, building a relationship just as you would with an important person in your life? What would you learn? What kind of assistance would they give you then?

The fact is, the more you develop an ongoing relationship with your spirit guides, the more you’ll receive clear and customized guidance with everyday situations, making your life easier and more joyful.

Three Reasons to Talk to Your Spirit Guides Daily

Here are three ways your spirit guides can help you.

They’ll advise you on decisions big and small.

Sometimes we judge our problems to be insignificant and unworthy of our guides’ attention. Do they really care what you fix for dinner or which movie you watch this weekend? Yes, they do. To your guides, nothing is irrelevant, because every decision impacts your life experience in some way or another. Make a habit of asking. You’ll be surprised at the input you receive. And best of all, your guides always have your best interest in mind, so they’ll never steer you wrong.

They’re a great creative resource.

My husband Bob is a contractor and the most down-to-earth guy in the world. He often turns to his guides for advice on practical solutions. For instance, when he was renovating an enormous old barn, he needed a way to jack up one side of the structure without destroying the hayloft above. He asked his guides for ideas before he went to sleep one night and, when he woke up in the morning, the answer was there in his mind, waiting.

They’ll remind you that you’re never alone.

In a world where loneliness can be epidemic, your guides are a constant and reassuring presence—again, not just on your worst days, but every moment of every Talk to them while you’re making breakfast, commuting to work, waiting in the grocery store line and brushing your teeth. Whenever I sit down to talk to my guides, they tell me, “We are here with you always.” That’s true for you, too, and it’s one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever receive.


Debra Engle is the author of The Only Little Prayer You Need and Let Your Spirit Guides Speak. You can find her on Facebook and at debraengle.com and at her Patheos.com blog “Everyday Miracles.”

Deb Engle's Books

The Only Little Prayer You Need | Let Your Spirit Guides Speak