No – not the band (although they are very much fun) – this is for those of you who have asked yourself at some point, “Am I a vampire?” …and I mean, really, who hasn’t? Given Ankhie’s aversion to sunlight and nocturnal habits, most members of my family are convinced that I spend my work days in a darkened room, fielding phone calls and tapping on a keyboard while I hang by my feet from the webby rafters. But I digress…
If you think you may be a vamp ( be it of the energy or blood variety) , J.M. Dixon has all the advice and info you need in The Weiser Field Guide to Vampires. The following is an excerpt on vampiric “Hunger” the mysterious process known as “The Awakening”:
As the spirit begins to starve, a vampire gets his first taste of what it truly is to know the Hunger. At first, it feels like any other craving for sustenance. Like a deep want of food or water, this ravenous need comes on slowly and builds in strength over several years. As in his childhood, the young vampire will attempt to eat and drink to fill the need, but nothing will help. As in the cult classic movie The Hunger made clear, no human food can relieve this need.
Instinctively, the vampire will begin to seek high-energy situations. Arguments with friends or family members, difficult and often stressful relationships, and even unhealthy group environments all become arenas for the vampire’s early, unconscious attempts to feed. At this point, the young vampire will still be far from truly understanding why these difficult settings may partially sate his need, even bringing on a sense of calm amid the distress and chaos. But on some level his conscious mind will already be opening up to the possibility that he may somehow be very different from those around him, that there may be something fundamentally puzzling within him.
Searching for an answer to the Hunger, many young vampires will seek the help of medical practitioners, only to be eventually turned away, conventional tests and knowledge having revealed absolutely nothing. Many more will seek out metaphysical writings or prowl through the Internet for answers to the half-formed questions rising in the backs of their minds. It becomes a search for the self and for community, driven forward by a subtle feeling that the vampire needs to know something about himself, and, perhaps more important, whether he is alone.
Eventually, answers are found. Whether from a book, from a computer screen, or even from the lips of another, these answers often come in the form of terms like the Hunger and Human Living Vampire, – which provide both understanding and the comfort that others have been through this before. This simple revelation begins a process of deeper understanding and a reevaluation of previous mind-sets and philosophies – a process that since ancient times has been known as the Awakening.
The first recorded use of the vampiric term Awakening is in the epic Celtic tale of the Second Battle of Mag Tuired. In line eighty-three of the tale, as translated by Elizabeth A. Gray, Lug, the hero of the Tuatha De Danaan, an unbeatable champion sired by a Fomoire king, is instructed by the goddess Morrigan to “awake.” The remainder of the passage, the part that most likely explained how Lug was to awaken his Sidhe nature and talents so that he could win the upcoming battle, was supposedly untranslatable.
There are many forms of Awakening, and all mean relatively the same thing: opening one’s mind to the wider reality, often to the reality of energy and the spiritual world. For human magickal practitioners, an Awakening occurs when they first realize that their desires can be focused to create change in the world around them; for the psychically gifted, an Awakening occurs when they open themselves to the concept that the things they see and hear in their minds may be not only real, but very useful in their daily lives; and for a vampire, an Awakening is the realization that she is, in fact, undeniably a vampire. Awakening begins when a vampire first considers that she might not be entirely human. It continues as she learns what she is and finally fully accepts it. The process never truly ends. A vampire is always learning about what she is, because her survival depends on her continued education into what she is, what she needs, and what she can do.
A change in sensory perception often comes first leaving the newly Awakened with overly sensitive vision or hearing, which will take them time to learn to cope with. A particular sensitivity to the smell of blood is quite common, due to its rather unique aroma, and on occasion, those with no previously notable psychic abilities will suddenly begin to see, feel, or otherwise sense energy flows and auras.
These and other changes are all a result of the vampire simply getting more in touch with her spirit, actively using its power for the first time and becoming hypersensitive to its needs. The vampire will need time to get used to these expanded senses and sensitivities but will eventually find the right internal balance to cope with them.
Finding this internal balance plays a major part in the vampire’s ability to sense and manipulate energy; whether the vampire feeds on blood or energy makes little difference. This ability will grow, resulting in what vampires often see as their trademark, the disruption or destruction of electrical equipment – yet another change those Awakening must learn to incorporate into their lives…
Oh there’s so much more! But I will leave you with that, my dark ones! Happy weekend!